STORY EXCERPT

Parked on the sidewalk, the nerd unfolded himself from the Corvette and extended a hand. “Marvin Simon, at your service.”

The trio introduced themselves. Rémy wondered at the casual attitude Marvin had toward three strangers who were in the service of the Duke of Demons, looking for a damned ring. Did this happen often to Marvin?

Niko said, “Sorry we were so late. We got sidetracked by placing stones.”

Marvin nodded knowledgeably. “That’s good. That’s a very good reason for being late. I’m glad you’re following the angles of the pentalpha.”

“Yes,” said Rémy, “we’ve crisscrossed this city placing stones at all the right spots. Now we need the ring, though.”

“Can you verify,” said Heidi, “that this ring will enable us to command the demons? We have several quests at stake here.”

“Well yes,” said Marvin, “within reason. You have to do several things first, though, before the ring will give you superiority over Baal-Berith and his cronies.”

Niko gaped. “There are more of them?”

Marvin looked at Niko as though he’d just come back from the dead. “Well, yes. Why else would he be called the Duke of Demons if he didn’t have anyone else in his duchy? You haven’t seen any others? No matter, you will. Baal-Berith isn’t easily subdued.”

Rémy said, “But he’s losing power at midnight tonight. Can’t we just wait for midnight to come and go?”

Marvin looked exasperated. “You could, if you didn’t really give a flying fig about your quests being completed. You could just go back to your dull-as-dishwater, boring-ass existence watching America’s Favorite Bachelor and driving your BMWs”—how did Marvin know that Rémy drove a BMW?—“but then you’d completely miss out on accomplishing your quests, now, wouldn’t you?”

Niko stammered, “I…I didn’t know there was a time limit. So we have to complete our quests by the time Baal-Berith loses power?”

Marvin looked skyward for divine assistance. “Well, of course now. The demons don’t just sit around waiting for you to take your thumb out of your ass. That’s the whole challenge. The closer it gets to midnight, the more powerful they become. The more assistance they can give you, but at the same time…” Marvin trailed off meaningfully.

Heidi filled in. “The more they can…crush us?”

Marvin nodded decisively. “Exactly. That’s what they live for, to crush you. They wouldn’t be very demonic if they didn’t. It’s my goal to help you subdue or overcome them. Now, with that in mind, why don’t you tell me about your quests? Two sentences or less, please. I don’t have all day. I’m entering my crawfish in the cook-off, and I don’t want to miss Chicken on the Bone playing ‘Rock This Town.’ They do it with such pep.”

Rémy went first, to give Heidi and Niko time to think. “Well, at first my main goal was to find my ancestor Jean Lafitte’s gold bars.”

Predictably, Marvin’s eyes lit up. “An admirable goal indeed. Treasure hunts are always given top priority by the demons. But your goal has changed?”

“Well, yes,” Rémy had to admit. “I mean, I still want to find the gold bars, of course. But I’ve really come to…” He couldn’t admit to this bobble-headed stranger that he thought he was falling in love with Heidi, and was having strangely powerful feelings about the undead Niko, too. Heidi was a unique, powerful soul, yet so childishly appealing. And Niko, well, there was nothing that was not unique about him. He told himself he never would have allowed himself romantic feelings about another man unless the man was as oddly singular as Niko de la Concepcion Valdés. So Rémy said, “I’ve come to put Niko’s quest as top priority. Niko, tell Marvin about yours.”

Niko solemnly folded his hands before his crotch. “I come from the year 1855.” Rémy wasn’t surprised that Marvin also nodded sagely. “I was stuck in Everlost with my poor departed sister, and then this fellow here revived me with a ceremony he performed. I’d like to get my sister out of Everlost, too, but leave the bastard who caused all of this stuck in there until time immemorial.”

“Yes,” said Marvin, as though thoroughly familiar with Leclerc, “he behaved so badly on earth he can’t be recycled. He can never move forward.”

“Truly?” cried Niko, breaking his respectful stance. “We can leave him behind?”

“Yes and no,” said Marvin. “He will be put into hell like broken pottery that can’t be repaired. This does not get you out of making amends with him.”

“Damn!” swore Niko. “I swore I will never apologize to that sack of buzzard’s guts!”

“Language, language!” said Rémy, sharing a grin with Heidi.

Marvin asked, “Do you wish to stay in the present, my friend?”

“Well…” Niko looked around at his newfound partners, at the shiny automobiles and motorcycles that raced by, at the ten-story tall professional buildings around them. He shrugged. “I suppose, if that’s my only option.”

Rémy was deeply offended. He supposed! If that was his only option! Trying to be light, he said, “Thanks a lot, Niko. We’re your last and only option.”

“Yeah,” said Heidi, apparently miffed, too. “I guess you’re stuck with us.”

“No!” protested Niko. “I mean that if I had my way, of course I would go back to 1855 before any of this happened! But…” He turned to Marvin. “That is not an option, is it?”

“I’m afraid not. You’re stuck with these people you don’t like. You’re all witnesses. You’re all bound together, so you can’t separate. Get used to it. Now, Miss Purdue, what is your goal?”

ADULT EXCERPT

“I know. So much has changed, Raoul. When you hurt me, you hurt me permanently. I moved on before the words were even out of your mouth. And unlike you, my version of ‘moving on’ actually involves moving. So, no. I’m not coming back to you. I’m not coming back at all. But you can send me a postcard from Tahiti. I’ll text you my address.”

So that was the end of Raoul, and now Heidi had her thighs and arms wrapped around the most scrumptious piece of man candy ever to walk the planet—in fully human form, that was.

“Oh, please, please, imprint me, Rémy,” cooed Heidi, lifting her head from the mattress to suck his lower lip into her mouth. Tilting her pelvis, she impaled herself on his fat cock, and Rémy lost what little control he’d had. Grunting into her mouth, he drove it home, wedged deep next to her womb, where he held his prick, throbbing with an erotic pulse.

She’d been stretched out from fucking Niko the other day, so she easily accepted Rémy’s fat, long tool. She set up a gently rocking motion while grasping his cock with her inner pussy muscles. She had powerful Kegels after decades of self-pleasuring with the detachable shower head, and she could grasp a man’s penis as though she were a Venus flytrap.

Every time she clutched Rémy’s cock, he gasped. Heidi started giggling. She knew Rémy was afraid to really pound her because he’d come too fast. When she corkscrewed her hips while simultaneously clutching him with her pussy, he raised himself on his forearms and glared down at her. He bit his own lip, and his eyelids fluttered as he fought to keep control.

“You’re an ornery, mischievous girl,” he snarled.

Only Heidi could see over Rémy’s shoulder. Niko stood beside the bed whipping Rémy’s bathrobe from his torso. He tossed the satin and it slithered off the chair’s arm, but Heidi was transfixed, admiring Niko’s otherworldly body.

For an undead guy, Niko was ravishing, fresh, brimming with vitality. Especially since returning through Hellmouth with his sister, it was virtually impossible to tell that Niko had been raised from the ground recently. He still had his waistcoat, strange linen shirt, trousers, and odd boots. He still wore his greatcoat out at night, although he’d agreed to allow Rémy to take him shopping for a new jacket.

But now, as he kneeled behind Rémy and knocked apart Rémy’s knees with his own, Niko looked firmly embedded in the present. Leaning, Niko dipped a few fingertips into a jar of shimmering white coconut oil. Heidi was fascinated with the view. He slathered his sleek dark cock with the pearly white cream, his thumb working a circular pattern around his shiny glans.

Heidi clutched furiously at Rémy’s cock. He sucked in air with a hiss when Niko reached between the globes of Rémy’s ass and touched a finger full of coconut oil to his tight bud. Heidi assisted by parting the shapely globes for Niko’s pleasure. She could reach one of her long arms around Rémy’s waist to massage his perineum as he hunched up into her higher and higher, inching her up the mattress toward the headboard. She could tell by the way Rémy gasped and his prick plumped inside her that he liked the way Niko slid a finger up his anus.

She knew it before Niko even asked. “You like that, boss man?” In bed, Niko liked to call Rémy that. Outside of bed, Rémy was hardly the boss of anything. The two were equitable. But Niko was freer with his bisexuality than Rémy, having more years of experience under his belt. “You like having me up your ass?”

“I like it,” Rémy grunted, his cock knocking against Heidi’s cervix. It twitched, too, when Heidi petted his perineum, slick with creamy coconut oil. She could even jack Niko’s cock as it pulsated against Rémy’s tight ring, encouraging him to impale the bad boy pirate.

“Teach him who’s boss, Niko.” Heidi spoke around Rémy’s shoulder. “He might pretend to be the boss, but show him who’s in charge, who’s got the upper hand around here.”

Rémy started to protest. “No one’s got the upper—”

But Niko’s penis slipped inside of him, and the rest of his sentence was just a tortured groan.

Heidi was thrilled beyond belief to be feeling Rémy’s prick inside of her, his pumping driven by each thrust of Niko’s hips. Niko was the conductor who controlled all. He held Rémy’s hip, bringing his lover back to meet each one of his thrusts. Heidi was aroused with every loud slap of the men’s pelvises, every slap of Niko’s ball sac against Rémy’s shapely ass, every twitch of Niko’s cock inside of Rémy, which Heidi liked to think she could feel.