When professors Stephanie and Lee decide to rent out the room above their garage to students, they were just doing it for the money. So when Joe, the short, caring, and charismatic lead singer of the post-hardcore band Armour for Life comes to live with them, both professors get more than they bargained for.
Stephanie insists that her sudden desire in their new boarder is not a mid-life crisis and instead focuses all her energy in applying for tenure. Lee takes a sabbatical, writing his new critical theory book late into the night, while also listening to Joe's new music CD during the day. When a tentative friendship between Joe and Lee develops, Lee believes that he wants to help Joe escape their city the way Lee was never able to when he was younger.
When Joe leaves to go on tour, both Stephanie and Lee realize how empty their house becomes without him. In order to get what they want from Joe, both professors must be the ones to take the first steps.
“You gonna be okay for practice later on this week?” Joe asked. “Or have I ruined you with the move?”
“You always ruin me, Joe Shaw. But yeah, I should be fine. We have a gig soon. So I have to be.”
“Glad to hear you’re so enthused.”
Patrick elbowed Joe on the bed. When the CD ended on Joe’s laptop, he didn’t get up to change it. Patrick didn’t complain as a small bit of silence spread between them, and the sounds of the house came through the floorboards. Joe heard faint murmuring beneath them, like Stephanie and Lee were still in the kitchen. Or maybe in the living room.
“You worried about hearing them?”
“What?” Joe asked.
“At night. You think you can hear them have sex?”
“Nah,” Joe said. “Lee said they’re at the other end of the house.”
Patrick laughed with a twisted smile.
“What was that for?”
“He knew you’d hear. So he made mention of where they were. Come on, Joe. You’re being adopted here.”
“I am not,” Joe protested. Something deep inside his gut twitched. “They’re just people.”
“Uh-huh. Sure.” Patrick nudged Joe, making him slide off the bed. He regarded the window, where the sun had now set. “I should get going. My mom wants her car back so she can go to same bizarre singles night function for forty year old women.”
“Yeah,” Joe said, now standing. “Tell her I say thanks.”
Patrick made a noncommittal noise in his throat. He looked around the debris of flattened boxes and empty duffle bags, slowly finding his own bag, phone, and car keys. He still lingered by the doorway, even as Joe moved over to say goodbye to him.
“You okay, Patrick?”
“Yeah. I just ...” He leaned down the stairs, and though they couldn’t see into the kitchen, they could hear Lee and Stephanie more. In a flash, Stephanie moved by the doorway -- not noticing them -- and her black hair flowed behind her. Patrick smirked as he stared back at Joe. “I don’t know if I would really mind, to tell you the truth. Them adopting me, I mean.”
“They’re not adopting me.”
“Right. But maybe she’s having a midlife crisis and wants to see what being a MILF is like. Or a cougar, since she’s never had kids.”
“Goodnight, Patrick. Thank you so much for your help ...” Joe said, gently pushing him towards the stairs. Patrick shoved right back, still playful.
“Come on, though,” Patrick said again. “You can’t tell me you wouldn’t say no.”
“I can’t tell you anything. Because you’re describing a fantasy.”
“Could be a reality, if you let it. I mean -- she’s nice, right? That’s not just me?”
“Yeah, she’s nice.” Joe watched down the stairs as Lee passed. All he saw was his legs and the arch of his small shoulders, but Joe’s stomach lurched again. “But he’s pretty good, too.”
