Will Grant only attends the PFLAG meeting because his mother guilts him into it. But the instant he hears the night’s speaker, Will is glad he showed up. Joshua Rhinehardt is dynamic and engaging. Although Joshua isn’t physically Will’s type, Will can’t get the man out of his head.
Joshua may be comfortable in his own skin, but it isn’t often men like Will are attracted to him, and he's not comfortable changing for someone else. He wants to make a life with Will, but his own insecurities keep getting in the way.
Will’s unwavering acceptance helps Joshua see that when two people connect, physical appearance just might not matter at all.
"So, about this third-date rule," I said as casually as I could when our meal was just about finished. In reality, I didn't sound very casual at all. Joshua noticed and he gave me a resigned sort of smile.
"Yeah," he said, sounding just a tiny bit defeated. When he pushed his plate away without eating the last couple of bites, I was afraid I had made a horrible mistake. I shouldn't have brought it up.
"You know what? Never mind. We don't have to talk about it," I said with false cheer. Inside, though, I was disappointed. Not only was I desperately curious, but I'd expected things to go differently than they seemed to be.
"No," Joshua said softly. He took a deep breath and my gaze was drawn to his shoulders as they lifted with the motion. He pushed a hand through his hair, as he slowly blew out. Then he lifted his face to stare directly in my eyes, and reached out to take one of my hands in his. "We can talk about it. You should know before -- before things go any farther."
My heart started to pound, my brain going in a thousand different directions. Joshua looked so serious, and I was afraid he was about to tell me he had some horrible disease and only had three months to live. I gulped, and tried to make my smile as encouraging as possible. It felt tremulous on my face but there was nothing I could do about that.
"You can tell me, whatever it is," I said as bravely as I could manage.
He gave me a smile then, perhaps knowing my head was traveling down a dark road. He squeezed my fingers and said, "I just -- okay, it's just that I'm not one to fall into bed with a guy I've just met. I need to know it's going somewhere before I sleep with someone."
I blinked. Was that it? "Okay," I said, unsure.
He shook his head, and his laugh was strained. "See, I've had some bad experiences. I'm not going to lie and say they didn't hurt. So maybe it's too soon between us, but I need to know we're on the same page here."
I nodded fast. I was all for that as long as it got us moving toward the bedroom.
"I know what I see in you, Will. You're beautiful and sexy and just hearing your voice makes me hard. But me? I'm not the best looking guy, I know that, and I don't really understand how you can look at me like you want to eat me."
"Joshua --" I began but he cut me off.
"I don't manscape," he said softly. "I know everyone thinks guys have to have a perfect, hairless body. I'm not comfortable doing that to myself. But I'm not going to blame you if you don't want to take this any further. I just want to know now before we get to the naked part."
I had to stop myself from bursting into laughter. That's what he was worried about? I knew he was a hairy guy; there was no hiding it. And while Joshua maybe wouldn't have been someone I normally looked at twice, that was before I heard him speak, before I had gotten to know him. I adored the man he was. Body hair didn't have anything to do with it. I opened my mouth to reassure him, but he wasn't looking at me and he kept talking.
"You've got to know now that I'm not going to change. Not about this. So if you think that somewhere down the road you'll convince me to start shaving or trimming or whatever, know it's not going to happen. I like the way I look and --"
"Joshua," I cut him off before he could really get going. His gaze jerked up to meet mine. I wasn't the least bit surprised he didn't conform to society's norms. He wasn't that guy. I grinned. "Sweetheart, I want you. Just as you are."
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