Former model-turned-actor Adrian Lee can barely list age range 23–29 on his résumé anymore, nor stand his life of empty social events and appearances, meaningless roles, and casual partners. When he meets Alexander Skizetsky by clever arrangement of his agent, the enigmatic yet infinitely attractive Russian kindles a little light of hope in his aching heart. Yet even the beginnings of a friendship and love beyond his wildest dreams cannot stop a life spiraling out of control.
The long estrangement from his devout Irish Catholic parents and family and the dark secrets they all share combine to drive Adrian to the brink of despair, though Alexander becomes determined to stay by his side. After locking away his own memories of betrayal and loss, Lexx had decided never to love again, but something in Adrian spurs the noblest intentions in his formerly jaded heart.
Returning in pilgrimage to Alexander’s homeland, on a journey of rebirth, revelation, and redemption, can they escape the ghosts of their pasts to find true love together?
NOTE: This book contains references to childhood sexual assault that might disturb some readers.
Adrian awoke alone, cramped and chilled from a gripping dream of formless dread. From the misty light streaming through one of the windows, it must have been very early morning, all colors drained to a dim grey. The house was strangely quiet, even the fire’s crackle seemed muted. No bird sounds from outside. No music from the radio. Adrian swallowed in an unpleasantly dry throat wondering where Lexx was but unwilling to break the stillness by calling out. He climbed carefully from the bed, pausing to listen.
Could Lexx have gone outside? Adrian peered through the rippled glass of the foyer door. Then a faint tapping sounded through the bathroom door standing ajar, but it stopped as soon as he opened it and slipped through. A sharp ping from ahead of him startled him to pausing again. The noise had definitely come from the grandfather clock room.
“Lexx?” he finally called, whisper barely above the regular patter of the clock, heart pounding as he crept into the extremely cold room. He froze in terror as the plastic sheeting covering the hole in the wall crackled.
Adrian bit his bottom lip with indecision. He had an irrational fear of the ragged darkness beyond the clear drape but knew he shouldn’t run away. It had to be faced. And if Lexx was in there, what was beyond? He took a careful step forward.
“Lexx?” he uncertainly called out again.
Seemingly disembodied, a hand appeared, pressing against the streaked plastic. Adrian stifled a scream. Though his mind shouted for him to do so, he found he couldn’t move, couldn’t run. When, scarcely a second later, Lexx’s tall form followed his hand into the room, Adrian collapsed back with a sobbing groan, glad the bed was behind him.
“Adrian!” Lexx exclaimed. “What’s wrong?” The man dropped to his knees, grabbing his upper arms. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost. It’s just me!”
“I -- I’m, sorry,” Adrian said shakily. Helpless against the tears that formed in his eyes, he brushed them quickly away, smoothing his hair with a distracted hand to cover the motion. “I don’t know what I thought, but -- I’m alright now.”
Standing, he pushed Lexx’s hands away while trying to smile, still stammering that he’d only been startled a moment, but received a frown. Lexx must have known by his reaction, there was something more involved that simple fright, and despite his best efforts he couldn’t pull his face into anything approaching normal.
“Adrian,” Lexx said seriously, simply. Then using the affectionate Russian little name he’d bestowed upon him, “Asha, tell me.”
“I -- I can’t,” Adrian said. “Not now. It’s too close.” Adrian stopped at the door leading to the bathroom. He thought to apologize again, but Lexx began to speak, to explain calmly, apologizing in his turn.
“I’m sorry I awakened you. There is work I do in the room on the other side. I had some writing ideas in my head, and didn’t want to lose them, so I thought I would at least get the basics down.”
“It’s alright really,” Adrian replied, finally accepting Lexx’s hand upon his shoulder, letting himself be guided back into the main room, determinedly pushing his terror away.
