Cassandra Durand is an up-and-coming professor at a Toronto university about to give a very important talk in her research field. While practicing one night, she runs into Grady, a custodian, whom she instantly recognizes as a former porn star. Can Cassandra maintain her professional distance while also indulging in her ultimate fantasy and dream man?
When her relationship becomes threatened by her once loved research field, will she and Grady be able to have a future in spite of his past? As Cassandra deals with her new label of provocateur, she turns to Grady for help navigating public life when everyone only wants to see the darker side of her private desires.
Over a greasy burger with fries, and another round of drinks, Cassandra spilled all she knew about Grady Diamond, former softcore porn star, along with her own sexual proclivities. Though the two had been friends ever since Cassandra came to the university, and they had had countless relationship discussions, there had never been a need for origin stories. Wasn’t so much of it obvious? At some point, you discover yours sexuality. Then you explore it. They were always there for the explorations. Not the budding desire that fueled late night TV channel flipping, when Cassandra suddenly saw a naked man for the first time.
“Of course, these were the kinds of movies that were never fully naked,” Cassandra said. “So I had to use my imagination.”
“Yeah, but that’s the fun part, right? That’s where the fantasy gets started. You see something that’s hot. But it doesn’t quite give you what you want. So you fill in the blanks later. I mean ... it’s not rocket science. It’s fucking. It’s fantasy. It’s a shame, really.” Delia sighed. “Students these days never had softcore to get off to. Everything is just explicit right away.”
“I know -- but that’s another discussion, another type of study to complete.”
“Right, right. I always forget that sex is sometimes your work. I’m so used to the lab where absolutely nothing is sexy.”
Cassandra nodded. Deep down, she knew that her obsession with these softcore movies from her youth was also the start of her academic career. It may have taken her a while to eventually come to the exploration of sexuality through Alzheimer’s research, but the genesis of that idea had occurred at sixteen. She wanted to examine sexuality from all its facets partly because she’d been so perplexed and intrigued by what she’d seen on screen -- and then watched quickly disappear as internet pornography came in and took over. Not that internet pornography was bad. She watched it quite regularly, whenever she worked too late and merely wanted to get off fast. But there was something missing in that type of pornography precisely because too much was shown.
“You know,” Cassandra said, “I never saw his dick.”
“Grady’s? Today? I mean, I hope not.”
“No, on screen. He never showed it. He was the first man I ever saw naked, and yet, he was not exactly naked.”
“Wait. So you still have no idea?”
