What do you get when Star Wars meets Sherwood Forest? Mix in a little Fanny Hill and The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy and you get Brandi Whyne and Her Incredibly Erotic Adventures (with Robin Manhood and His Totally Sexed-Out Space Pirates). With a series title that long, you know it’s going to be filled with loads of laughs, tons of sci-fi fun and plenty of hot sex!
In Chapter 8, the space pirates long to discover what K.R.A.P.P. and the android Marian are up to, but first, Brandi needs to discipline Willie for fibbing about his past. A little demonstration and another great orgy later, the Triple P arrives at Old Terra and comes under attack. Can Brandi and company out-prank a prankster, survive a crash landing, and pull the plug on henpecked King Ricardo’s evil queen before it’s too late?
Finding out that a man you’ve slept with on multiple occasions, with multiple partners, is actually a member of the despised galactic aristocracy is bad enough. Discovering this man had actually married your boyfriend’s evil ex doesn’t add many points in his favor, either. But nothing—absolutely nothing—could top Scarlet Willie’s last bombshell.
King Ricardo is my second cousin.
“So, you’re actually royalty, eh, Will?”
Robin’s dubious tone indicated he hoped it was just a misunderstanding on his part.
Willie nodded and shrugged.
I couldn’t keep my outrage to myself. I sashayed over to him, slapped him hard on the chest, and growled, “How dare you be related to that asshole so-called king whose idiotic and insane policies were ultimately responsible for my parents’ deaths!”
Willie stared at me, dumbfounded, for a full twenty seconds before defending himself.
“Brandi, I’m so sorry, but I didn’t have anything to do with your parents’ demise. I didn’t know what Ricky was up to day-to-day, let alone what other mischief he may have been involved with. We were drinking buddies at the best of times, and I was young and rather... naïve, you could say, about the ways of the galaxy back then.”
“No excuses! I don’t want to hear them.” I turned away from him and ran toward Robin’s open arms, expecting him to take my side. But he didn’t.
“Brandi, you owe Will an apology,” Robin began in his calmest tone as he stroked my back and fondled my buttocks. “I’m certain Willie didn’t have any control over court policy in his misspent youth.”
I frowned. “You’re defending him? A member of the one-percent? Those selfish goons who take away from us hardworking black marketers every chance they get?” I sniffed for effect. “Don’t tell me you’re not shocked by his admission. Go on—admit it.”
Robin opened his mouth to speak, but not one word came out. He repeated this several times, apparently thinking through what he wanted to say, until he finally gave up and agreed with me.
“Yes, I’m shocked. Here all along, I thought Willie was just one of the gang—a regular rogue like the rest of us with a bit of a shady past who needed to find a position where he could make a difference in the world of adult toy commerce—and now I find out he’s got contacts in the government.”
Robin furrowed his brow in thought. “Hey... Those contacts could have come in handy. How come you never bothered to share that particular tidbit with us, Will?”
Willie blushed his typical scarlet red color and averted his eyes.
“I was embarrassed. Besides, it’s like I said before... my family wasn’t that highly connected. We were only related to the king through my mother’s mother and even then...” He shrugged. “The relationship wasn’t on the official side, you could say.”
“So, Grandma was shagging Ricky’s uncle or father or pet hedgehog? Was she ever bestowed the title of a royal porcupine—er, concubine?” Robin queried.
“Not that I’ve heard, but they always treated us as distant relations and generally invited us over for holiday celebrations. Possibly that was because my dad could whip up some mean homemade white lightning to spike the punch bowl, or because Mom was good at baking those brownies kids aren’t supposed to eat, I don’t know. Ricky was about my age, so we started hanging out together at these get-togethers, stealing the hash brownies and taking sips of spiked punch.”
“Family memories—how touching.” I rolled my eyes and wiggled away from my lover’s grasp. I wasn’t happy that Robin hadn’t taken my side in the matter, but I could tell his mind was made up. He’d forgiven Willie of his past indiscretions and was willing to let bygones be bygones. I, on the other hand, wanted answers and vengeance.
“Please don’t hate me, Brandi.” Willie batted his big eyes at me. “I’m still that randy sex-fiend who loves to repeatedly roger you senseless at weekly orgies. That hasn’t changed.” He fell to his knees before me and groveled. “Please, please say you’ll forgive me.”
I’ve never been one to carry a grudge for long, and I had to admit that Willie wasn’t personally responsible for all the misery and mayhem his social strata had caused in the galaxy, but still...
“You’ll have to prove yourself worthy to me, Mr. Dickinson.” I thrust out my breasts and stood hands on hips, looking down my nose at his prone form. “I am ship’s counselor after all, and I must maintain discipline. Where would we all be if we continually lied to each other about our pasts?”
“Well, we’d not be very nice people, if that’s what you’re intimating.” Scarlet Willie sat up and grinned wickedly, rubbing his hands together. “But we’re not very nice people, being space pirates and all. We all really need constant disciplining to keep us on the straight and narrow.”
Robin cleared his throat. “We’ve got some time before we’ll be in orbit around Old Terra, so why not organize some ship-wide disciplining sessions, Miss Whyne? I feel I’m speaking on behalf of the entire crew of the Triple P when I say they’ll be much appreciated and well-attended.”
“No doubt.” I tossed my red locks over my shoulders and laughed. “Will you be attending by chance, captain?
“Of course. A space pirate captain must set a good example for his motley crew.”
He lowered his voice as he sidled up close to me.
“You can make me part of your demonstration if you like.”
“I like... I like.” Time couldn’t fly fast enough until I had both of my lovers under my control and pleasuring me. Repeatedly.