Pink isn’t just a color anymore. Men have had their blue pills for years and how women have their pink pills. Men are thrilled, expecting a huge uptick in their sex lives. Women are thrilled, too, but for the same reason. The problem is that the uptick just may not include their husbands.
Rick Jones looked at his brother Todd and shrugged. “It’s not easy going up to strange women and proposing that they work for us.”
“I know. We should advertise online or something.”
“Uh uh. We’d just get crazies and lots of ’em.”
“I guess so,” Todd said. “Let’s give it a few more minutes. Maybe someone perfect will walk by and... hey. Check her out.” Todd pointed to a slender middle-aged woman in black slacks and white blouse who had stopped and was now peering into the window of a nearby clothing store. “Her boobs are big enough I think and given her slim body they’d probably be...”
“Let’s not waste any time,” Rick said. “Come on.”
Rick and Todd walked as fast as they could over to where the woman was standing. “Excuse me, ma’am,” Todd said. “Could we have a word with you?”
Carla Meeks scanned the two tall blue-eyed blonde men for a second. “I’m on my lunch break,” she said. “What’s this about?”
“If we could sit,” Rick said. “This will take less than a minute.”
“If you’re trying to sell me something I...”
“No,” Todd said. “Not exactly. It’s an opportunity for you.”
“I’m not investing in some...”
“Please,” Rick said. “It would be better if we sat. If nothing else you’ll have a great story to tell someone tonight.”
Carla raised an eyebrow and pointed to a bench near a nearby escalator. “Over there.” She took off toward the bench with Rick and Todd close behind. After sitting she said, “You have one minute.”
Rick handed Carla a business card that read Jones Productions. “My brother and I have invented a device for the adult video industry. It’s an artificial penis with a remote control that...”
Carla rolled her eyes and laughed. “I knew it. This is a joke, right? Did my husband set this up?”
“No,” Rick said. “It’s not a joke. Like I was saying, the adult video industry uses fake semen for what they call their money shots. If you know what you are looking at you can tell the fake shots from the real shots. Anyway, we have also discovered that there is a huge market for what is being called mature porn. That is specifically videos starring attractive middle-aged women like, well, like you. We’d like to know if you would star in a five-minute video in which you would perform oral sex on our artificial penis. In exchange we’d give you five hundred dollars.”
Carla studied the two men intently. “You want me to give a fake cock a blowjob, is that what you are saying?”
“Yes,” Todd said. “It’s actually more than just a penis, though. It’s more of a torso if you will. I mean, we want to portray the video as the real thing, you know?”
“And I suppose the fake cock will shoot fake semen on my face?”
“On your face or... well... you might just swallow it. It’s actually very nutritious. It’s made out of yogurt and...”
Carla laughed and slapped her knee. “Either this is a joke or the most insane thing I have ever heard.”
“It’s no joke,” Rick said. “I mean there is a catch. You’d have to be... um... bare breasted.”
“Guys,” Carla said. “I’m fifty-six years old. I doubt that many men would want to see...”
“I would,” Todd said.
“And I would,” Rick said.
Carla stared at the two men and felt a stirring between her thighs that she hadn’t felt in a long time. “Is there a contract?”
“Of course,” Rick said. “Short and simple.”
“Five hundred, right? No bullshit like, oh, once my tits are showing you decide you don’t like them.”
“We’ll give you the five hundred dollars right now,” Todd said. “No bullshit.”
“No... no physical contact, right? It’s not like you’re going to try to...”
“No, no,” Rick said. “Not that we wouldn’t want to. The contract is very specific.”
“And you’ll be putting the video on the web, of course.”
“Yes. These videos are teasers to get subscribers for our website.”
“But I don’t get identified by my own name.”
“Of course not. You’ll make up a stage name.”
“This is so ridiculous that I have to do it. Where are we going? Oh, I’m Carla by the way.”
