Story Excerpt

Something warm and wet slid against Danny’s stomach, pulling him out of his sleep. He opened his eyes, glancing down to the place where Lars’s arm was wrapped protectively around him, and saw red.

It was covered in blood.

Panic choked Danny’s throat as he pulled away from the arm, grasping at it desperately to stop the flow of blood, but as he turned, he saw that the cuts, deep as they were, weren’t his only injuries.

Two round red holes hollowed into the skin on his neck, as if some sharp unseen points were pressing into it. Then the holes bloomed with blood.

Danny’s eyes widened in horror at the sight. He had seen the same thing in a horror movie when he was a kid, a sleeping body ripped apart by some unseen attacker. It terrified him, but not as much as the thought of losing his mate. He couldn’t, not now.

The memory of their mating pounded through his head. The same circles of blood had risen up from his skin then, and for a moment, he had panicked at the sight, not wanting to hurt him. Instinctively, he had stuck out his tongue to lick the wound, and it had healed. Could he close the wounds the same way now?

Frantic, Danny shifted, lapping at the wound, watching it grow and recede, open and shut. For a few hysterical moments, Lars continued to convulse on the bed. Danny felt the force of each bare second press against him like a great yawning abyss doubling over itself, threatening to swallow him whole. He had felt misery before, and terror, and panic, but never such complete despair. Never in his life had he had so much to lose.

Finally, Lars jerked awake with a gasp, terror in his eyes as he looked at Danny in his shifted form. Danny continued to lick at his wounds, feeling the taste of copper flood his mouth and watching the skin and tissue knit over the ragged wound until it finally closed, as if nothing had ever happened. Lars was okay, but he couldn’t forget the look of terror Lars had given him as he woke up. It was a look he had never expected to see from his mate.

In a fluid movement, his wolfish body melded and reformed into his human one, and Danny stood before the bed in front of Lars, torn between his relief that he was alive and his fear of what he saw in Lars’s eyes as they continued to look at him. Detached. Cautious. Uncertain. Danny felt his stomach tighten with shame as Lars rubbed at his throat, the remaining traces of blood spreading under his touch. It was surreal. A minute ago he had feared for his life. Now he was sitting up on the bed, blinking at him, his breathing steady and calm.

“Are you okay?” he asked. “There was so much blood—”

“I’m fine,” he said. “It doesn’t hurt anymore.” Danny let out a breath. “You shifted,” he said.

Danny stared at him, unsure how to respond. “You almost died.”

Lars nodded, taking in the red-stained bedsheets. He pressed a hand against them then pulled it back, crawling off the bed. Danny wanted to go to him, pull him tight against his body and hold him there, relieved that he was okay, but he couldn’t shake the feeling of discomfort he sensed in his mate.

How much did he remember of what happened?

Lars’s eyes flitted to the sheets, taking in the deep red that stained the sheets. For a moment, his eyes seemed to flash with recognition. “I was having a nightmare,” he said, dazed. He looked up at Danny. “You weren’t there.”

Danny bit his lip at the hollow tone in his mate’s voice. His mate. They had always shared dreams before, ever since that first night. But the dream Danny had was different. He woke up in Lars’s bed, but Lars wasn’t there. For a moment, he had panicked, wanting to rush to the door to find him, but when he got there, he couldn’t bring himself to go through it. The door wasn’t like the door to Lars’s room, and it scared him.

It had been such a strange, foreboding color of red.

Still, he would hardly call the dim memory a nightmare.

 “Do you remember it?” Danny asked, forcing Lars to meet his gaze, but he still seemed dazed. Danny bit his lip, averting his gaze as he pulled his boxer shorts back on. He couldn’t stand the way Lars had looked at his wolf earlier, even after all the time he’d spent letting him get comfortable with it, showing him it was okay. Now, all Danny wanted to do was get dressed as quickly as possible, to show his mate just how domesticated he could be.

Finally, Lars looked up at him. “I remember darkness,” he said. “And a red door.” His head cocked to the side, and his eyes slanted. “Didn’t you have the same dream?”

Danny blinked. A red door. He remembered that, but not the darkness. “I was in the room,” he said, “but it wasn’t dark. There was a door there—”

Lars cut him off. “I wasn’t in the room.”

“Where were you?”

Lars’s eyebrows furrowed the way they always did when he was thinking. Then he shook his head. “I don’t remember.” His face was blank. “I don’t remember anything else.”

“I woke up and saw that you were hurt,” he said slowly. “Something was attacking you.”

Lars’s head jerked up. “Something. What was it?”

Danny’s head swam with the uneasiness he could feel rolling off of Lars in waves. He could feel his face growing hot. “I don’t know. It was sort of…invisible?”

Lars looked at him. There was no mistaking the disbelief in that look. “You shifted,” he repeated.

“I–I thought I could heal you,” he stammered. “Like when we mated. Was that wrong?”

Lars shook his head. “No, but…” He sighed. “You’re certain this was after you woke up? I mean, maybe what you saw, when I was attacked—”

Danny didn’t need to hear the rest of the sentence. He already knew where it was going. “You think I attacked you in my sleep.” He stared at Lars, hard. “Or rather, you think my wolf did.”

All the guilt and shame that he had felt from his childhood returned with a vengeance, washing over Danny. His head hammered, pounding out a frantic pain, and the acid surge of regret rose in his stomach.

He glanced at the clock. How long had it been since he had let go of that burden? An hour? Two? He had thought he would never feel it again, but it was there now, stronger than ever, edged now with the sharp sting of betrayal.

Thirteen years ago, he had done something bad. He would never atone for it. No matter how many times he tried to seek forgiveness, he would only find new ways to open the wound. How stupid had he been to believe it would be different with Lars? That he could trust him? Love him?

His chest squeezed as he realized that he still loved him, and it didn’t matter. No matter what Lars told him, no matter what he thought he felt between them, the facts remained. He was a monster. He was unlovable. He was dangerous.

Even if this time, it wasn’t his fault.

Adult Excerpt

When they were both naked, Danny lay back down on the bed then dropped the blindfold over his eyes again. He felt Lars’s weight shift off of the bed then return to it. Two muscular thighs straddled his stomach, and he felt Lars’s balls brush across his chest as he leaned over him, raising his arms over his head.

“Does this mean I get a safe word?” he asked.

He felt Lars’s hands still above him. “Where in the world did you hear about that?”

“Internet?”

“Forget it,” Lars growled, and Danny smirked at the note of jealousy that had crept into his voice. “I don’t want to know. What did you have in mind?”

Lars had finished with the ties, and Danny tugged against them to test their durability, see if he could wriggle out of them if he wanted to. Nope, he determined with a few flicks of his wrists, those suckers weren’t going anywhere. And neither was he.

“How about vulnerable?”

“Smart-ass,” Lars said as he got off of Danny’s chest. A moment later, Danny felt his rough palms pressing against the backs of his thighs, forcing his knees to bend. “You’re going to regret a mouthful like that the minute I start smacking this perfect little ass of yours.”

Holy shit! Danny could feel his whole body flush at that idea so fast he couldn’t tell if it was from fear or arousal. He felt Lars’s palm caress gently down the length of his thigh to palm his backside, and he swallowed. Was that really a possibility?

Inadvertently, his wrists tugged against the leather straps securing them to the headboard. Either way, he wouldn’t have much of a choice. His open eyes stared into the blackness in front of him. His breath quickened, and he wondered what he had gotten himself into.

“Thought you said you wouldn’t hurt me,” he teased. He could hear the worry in his voice. He hoped it didn’t hurt Lars’s feelings.

“I won’t,” he said quickly. “I’m sorry. I was just…”

“It’s okay,” Danny said, his voice raspy. “I liked it, I just…”

It was unnerving, being in the dark like this. Exciting, but unnerving. He could feel Lars’s weight shift between his legs. A hand grasped each of his legs, but he couldn’t see them. All he could see was the darkness.

The edge of fear pressed against his need, but Lars’s hands stroked his legs gently, and his breaths slowed. He choked back a dry swallow. They had fucked a lot in the past weeks, hot and fast and frantic. He liked the rush of sensation he felt inside that abandon, the way the whole world seemed to almost disappear when those sensations overwhelmed him, hanging on the border between pleasure and pain. He didn’t think he could handle it like this.

“Do you think…I mean, this time…could you go slow?”

A moist kiss pressed against the inside of his thigh, and Danny felt him nod against his skin.

Electric sparks raced through him as he felt the wet tip of Lars’s tongue trail his thigh, licking a path downward. When he felt warm hands part the cheeks of his ass, he hitched in a breath in anticipation. Then the wet muscle moved against the sensitive skin between them, and he jerked against it.

“Okay?” Lars asked.

Danny nodded. “Feels good,” he breathed.

It was weird just how much he could feel in the dark like this. Lars licked him again, slower this time. His muscles contracted as he felt the careful motion of his tongue circle his hole then plunge inside.

“Oh, God,” he moaned, bucking his hips against the motion. His wrists strained uselessly against the leather straps. If he had free rein over them, they would have flown to his cock by now, desperate to relieve the pressure building inside him.

The way things were now, he could tell he was going to have to wait a long time.

He felt the wetness of Lars’s tongue moving upward toward his balls, languishing around the sensitive patch of skin underneath them, letting that slow heat build up inside him then backing off as he turned to nibble at his thigh and tease his ass again with the slow whirl of his finger.

“You’re killing me,” he ground out, pressing down against the digit. He groaned as it plunged inside him, fast and deep with the motion of his hips. It pulled out just as fast, and then he felt the pressure push into him again, wider than before. Two fingers. When he felt them curl inside him, he bit back a scream.

“Harder,” he said. “Please. Please fuck me.”

Lars’s fingers pulled out of him, and he whimpered. He heard the creak of the mattress underneath him then felt Lars’s hot breath against his neck as he whispered against his cheek. “You’re pretty sexy when you beg.”

The edge of his stubble brushed against his face as he felt Lars nip a trail along his neck. Their cocks pressed together, sliding against one another with the slickness of pre-cum, and he felt his Adam’s apple surrounded by the suction of Lars’s hot mouth. Need built inside him, and he clenched his hands into fists, wanting to grab Lars’s hair, his ass, his cock. Damn these restraints.

He ground his hips under Lars again, and the tip of Lars’s cock slipped out from between them, pressing against his cheeks. Lars moaned, and he felt the sound vibrate against his throat. He was enveloped by total darkness, his throat trapped beneath the mouth of a man who could tear it out if he wanted, but he wasn’t afraid. He couldn’t see the caring look in his eye, but he knew it was there.

Lars crushed his mouth against his, and he sucked his tongue, smiling at the moan he drew out of him.

“You’re so fucking hot,” he whispered.

Danny smiled, turning his face to feel his mouth on Lars’s skin again and licking at the hot flesh that met his lips. “Am I?” he murmured, finding the line of his jaw. “I can’t see.”

“Smart-ass.”

Desperate hands slid down to the globes of his ass, grasping them firmly before releasing them. Danny strained to push his hips up farther, lifting his ass off the bed. He might not have been sure about that spanking before, but he sure as hell wanted it now.

“Do it,” he urged. Lars’s cock slid between his ass cheeks. The tip pressed against his hole. Danny wiggled against it, and he smiled when he heard Lars groan. “I know you want to.”

“I don’t think I can be gentle,” he growled.

“I don’t think I want you to.”