Ian is hampered by his conservative upbringing and denies his gayness. When he goes to a business seminar with sexy Jordan, they really hit it off, but while Jordan admits he’s gay, Ian denies it.
Still, things heat up between them at the seminar and beyond. But Ian’s parents aren’t ready to accept their son for who he is. When a fire leaves him homeless with nowhere to turn, Jordan’s the only one he can turn to. Will Ian ever overcome his upbringing to find happiness with the man he loves?
Jordan stood close. “Ian, I want to comfort you, give you a hug. May I? It’s okay to say no.”
He nodded sharply in consent. His breath caught.
Jordan sat on the bed and pulled him into a side hug.
Ian moaned and enjoyed the contact. “I’m such a fucking pussy. I’ve never fought back in my whole life. Besides, I had no idea what to do to defend myself.” He buried his face into Jordan’s chest.
Jordan’s soft voice returned. “Most are. If you don’t like it, then decide to change and take the steps needed to do it.”
Ian wiped his tears and pulled away. “Thanks.” He flinched when his delivery turned out harsher and more sarcastic than he intended.
Jordan flashed his calming smile. “I’m sorry if that offended you. It’s the truth. I’m a direct person. Most people can’t defend themselves and do nothing to change it. The key is to focus on the solution rather than the problem. I can help you with that if you want. I teach Jujitsu, it’s the old martial art from Japan.” He rose and went to his bag, taking out a flask. He took a sip and offered it to Ian. “It’s fine Canadian whisky. I’m not like George. You can trust me.”
With no question in his heart, Ian took a sip. “Wow. That’s smooth.” It warmed him in an instant. “I’m sorry I was sharp with you a moment ago. No one has talked to me like that. Everyone says I’ll always be a sissy and a victim. Look at me. I’m far from masculine. I’m five-foot-four and only weigh one hundred thirty pounds. I’m not mean-looking, or studly like you.”
Jordan headed to the sliding glass door and waved for Ian to follow him to the balcony. Ian stepped out there. Jordan took slow, audible deep breaths. Ian did, too. “Look at the waves, how awesome they are, yet captivating. I love nature.” He wrapped an arm around Ian and offered the flask again. “You are not destined for anything. Be who and what you wish, that includes brave.”
Ian swallowed and settled into the secure hold of his new friend. He took another sip, and they were silent for a while. Ian tried to give himself the courage to tell the truth for once. He shook and leaned into Jordan and again took in the sexy scent of masculinity. “Jordan, I didn’t completely answer your question when we drove here. I’m neither straight nor gay. I think I’m bisexual, although I’ve never done it with a guy.” He shook his head. “I’ve only done it with two women, and each time they instigated it.”
Silence hovered for a while except for the crashing of the waves.
“My gaydar actually told me you were straight. So much for intuition sometimes. How long have you felt like that?”
“Since forever. When I was in third grade, I looked at the asses of other boys and got erections. I just like guys. I don’t think I’m really into women, but I don’t want to be gay. It’s not accepted in society. I want to be normal.”
Jordan said, “So, you’ve never done it with a guy, but you’re attracted to guys, and you only do it with women when they start it. Do you play on the Internet? Go to chat rooms?”
Ian voice raised, and he squeaked, “Yes. I jack off in chat rooms.”
“So, do you actually want to do it with a guy, for real, in person someday?”
He nodded slowly and took another sip. “I have no idea really what to do. I don’t want to fuck with a stranger, maybe get a disease or get killed by a predator. I’ve always been weak and got my ass kicked. I’m just so afraid to do anything.” He looked into Jordan’s eyes. “You’re the first person I’ve told this to. Please don’t tell anyone at the company. I’d be so embarrassed.”
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