Jude knows he isn’t relationship material. The entire population of Mars made it abundantly clear he’s damaged goods, and he agrees. His issues are why he works a remote job flying around the galaxy prospecting for metals, and why he ruthlessly quashes any feelings for Cal, his surveying partner.
Cal has been looking for an opening to suggest he and Jude could be more than friendly coworkers. When they crash on a tundra planet, the men have a lot of free time, and they put it to good use having sex. It’s fun, but Cal wants Jude as a boyfriend, not a friend with benefits.
Marooned on a hostile world, with Jude’s demons rearing their heads, Cal’s first task is to keep the two of them alive. His second is to convince Jude that, no matter how much he’s suffered, romance can still be in the cards.
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“You’re not the only one who holds himself to high blowjob standards,” said Cal when Jude was good and spent, not to mention taking up nearly the entire bed with his arms spread out where they’d gripped the sheets.
“Lucky me.”
A wiser man, Cal belatedly realized, would’ve figured out first if they were just going to be fuck buddies or there was the possibility for emotional involvement. He’d let his dick get ahead of his brain again.
Nothing for it now but to hope their interactions didn’t get too awkward. Best case scenario, they could start a relationship. Middle case scenario, Cal got over his feelings and they either continued on as mining partners or upgraded to friends with benefits until they went their separate ways. Worst case scenario, everything got awkward and one of them broke down to ask for reassignment, but he was reasonably sure it wouldn’t come to that unless Jude freaked.
Cal made the sensible if cowardly choice to enjoy the afterglow for another minute or two before they started the conversation.
* * * *
Sex with Cal was far and away better than masturbating to porn. Jude’s orgasms had been of the solo variety for well over a year now, which made him all the more appreciative of a good blowjob. Well, those emotions he was trying his best to suppress might have played a part as well, but he didn’t want to encourage them, so he stuck with the dry spell explanation for the sex being so damn good.
“I could get used to this,” said Cal.
“Mining partners with benefits? Sounds good to me.”
Jude’s reasoning, if you could call being really horning some kind of reasoning, was that they might die if nobody picked up their SOS, so why not have sex? If they survived, he’d be perfectly happy to exchange more blowjobs.
Cal’s face fell. “Benefits, okay.”
Oh, fuck. He wanted more. This was why Jude had planned to stick with jerking off, and the occasional one-night stand when he could get lucky on supply runs. More than sex was just asking for trouble. Unpleasant truths would come out, realizations would be had, and Jude would end up right back where he’d started, with the added misery of a freshly broken heart.
No point in putting both of them through all the drama, so he decided it was best to nip this in the bud. “I thought we were just having sex.”
Cal attempted to shrug away his obvious disappointment. “I guess we were.”
Jude sighed. Since those stupid emotions seemed to be returning, he decided to man up and give an explanation. “I’m not relationship material.”
“Why?”
“I’m just not.”
Cal’s eyebrows went up. “Ever consider letting someone else be the judge of that?”
He had, and the consensus seemed to be that no sane person wanted to get involved with him. “There’s a lot you don’t know about me.”
“So what? Did you kill a person or something?” At Jude’s pause, Cal grew nervous. “Please tell me you didn’t murder someone.”
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