STORY EXCERPT

I bit my lip to keep from screaming or sobbing, not really sure which one would have won out when I entered our suite and Noah didn’t even register me… Yet again. He was where he always was, on that damn sofa with that fucking laptop. I stared at the ceiling when I should have been sleeping at night dreaming of ways to destroy that thing.

Instead, I went to one of the wolves I’d become friends with and asked him if he would donate some blood to try and help save my mating.

“I went and saw Abby,” I said as way of greeting as I sat on the couch next to him.

“How’s he doing?” Noah asked, only partially paying attention.

“He’s good. He donated the blood. Are you ready?” I let my voice get husky. I wasn’t going to assume the worst of my mate but I still braced for what I was pretty sure was coming.

“Can’t we do it later, Remus? I’m on a deadline.”

“You promised,” I growled, my heart breaking just a little bit more.

“We can do it tonight. I’ll try and be done by then.”

“You said we’d have all today for just us!” I shouted as I jumped to my feet, setting down the bag of blood before I ended up breaking it as my hands clenched into fists. Noah blinked up at me as if it really just sank in that I was there. “Noah, put away the laptop unless you want me to smash it against the wall like I’ve been dreaming of doing.”

“Why would you want to wreck my laptop?” His eyes went wide as he hit a few buttons, probably saving his all-important work, before closing it and setting it on the coffee table.

“Do you no longer love me?” I whispered instead.

“What?” he gasped as he stood as well. “What has gotten into you?”

“Me?” I bellowed as I threw my arms up in the air in exasperation. “It’s been over two weeks since we’ve been intimate! More than a month since you’ve initiated anything. All you let me do is kiss you on the cheek at night before you sleep on your side of the bed, not even letting me hold you at night.”

“It hasn’t been…” He trailed off, biting his lower lip in thought as he ticked off his fingers. “What’s today’s date?”

“December fifteenth.” I took several deep breaths, trying to calm down as he worked it out in his head. His eyes were sad as he realized I was right about how long it had been for us. “Do you no longer love me, Noah? What did I do wrong? I can’t fix whatever’s broken here if you won’t talk to me.”

“I will always love you, Remus,” he whispered as he moved closer to me. “You are the other half of my soul. I love you with all my heart.”

“Then why don’t you want me anymore?” I grabbed his shoulders and shook him, all the pent-up anguish and emotions breaking free. “Why has it come to the point I’m begging you to drink werewolf blood so you’ll want me? Do you want me to leave? Do you love me but no longer want me?”

“No, I swear I didn’t realize it’s been so long or this has been going on,” he pleaded as he tried to hug me. I kept him at arm’s length, still needing answers.

“How could you not know that you’ve turned away from your mate? Is there someone else you want instead? It can’t just be that stupid laptop getting in between us again.”

“Don’t call my work stupid. It’s important to me!”

“I didn’t say your writing is stupid, just that infernal machine. And apparently your work is more important than our mating or the heartache I’ve been going through.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I’ve tried!” I stepped away from him, letting his shoulders go because I didn’t trust myself not to shove him I was so angry and hurt. “I’ve tried so many fucking times, Noah! I ask if we can talk, you say later. I beg you to take the night off and let’s go out or watch a movie and you tell me you’re on a deadline. I try to hold you at night and you scoot away. What is going on? Do you want me to leave and move on?”

“Move on?” he growled as his fangs slid out and he grabbed my shirt roughly. “Have you been going somewhere else for what I’ve not been giving you? Is that what this is about? Would it be so easy for you to walk away because we’ve been having issues and go to another for comfort?”

“I’ve not cheated,” I snarled as I swatted his hand away. “How dare you accuse me of that! I’ve been loyal to you even though you’ve given me every indication you don’t love me anymore and it’s over between us. I’ve not even entertained any offers because I love you and have been trying to fix whatever is going on here.”

“Offers?” Noah’s eyes filled with tears as he plopped back on the couch. “Who? Who asked you to cheat on me?”

“They didn’t know I was mated,” I admitted as I ran my fingers through my hair. This was not how I wanted this conversation to go. “One of the fae, two of the new vampires who are staying at the Dragos estate, and one of Abby’s friends asked me. I told them right away, no, that I was mated and they said they didn’t believe me.”

“Why not?” The tears ran down his cheeks now as he clutched his chest as if his heart hurt. Maybe he was starting to understand how I’d been feeling for weeks and weeks now.

ADULT EXCERPT

“I want you right now, Remus. I don’t need blood to want you. I just thought it would help make up for all the intimacy and hot sex I’ve denied you and clearly owe you.”

“You don’t have to seduce me, baby,” I said gently, feeling how he was still shaking with emotion. “I said I wouldn’t go. Don’t force this when you don’t want it.”

“I want you!” His hands turned to claws and he shredded my shirt as he bit me. I cried out and fumbled with my jeans as I exploded inside of them. The moment my cum-covered cock was free, Noah pushed himself down on it.

“You’re going to hurt yourself,” I growled as I rolled us to try and make him stop.

He pulled his fangs out of my neck and guided my hard cock to his hole. “I don’t care!” Before I could think of what to do, he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me down and between his legs so I went inside of him. He screamed in pain and I felt his hole twitching at the invasion, unable to stretch in time.

“Are you okay?” I asked when he was gasping for air. I made sure to hold perfectly still to not make things worse.

“Wasn’t enough slick,” he admitted. “Can we get the lube and try that again?” He reached for the drawer in the coffee table but I was closer. I gently pulled out of him and grabbed the tube we kept there, my eyes filling with tears at the sight of it. “What?”

“It’s expired,” I whispered as I stared at him. “I threw another bottle away the other day because I saw it was expired as well. What mated couple together just over two years has to throw away bottles of lube because they’re expired and not just empty?”

“Someone who’s mated to a shitty man,” Noah answered dejectedly and rolled to his feet. “How can you even still want me after all I’ve put you through? That’s the real question.”

“Because I love you.” I swallowed loudly as I stood, tossing the tube in the garbage as I followed Noah into our room, kicking off my shoes and my jeans that were now pooled at my feet. “It will always be you, Noah. It’s always only been you.”

“I’ve never deserved that,” he whispered as he plopped down on the side of the bed. “I’m broken, Remus. You should have walked away before we claimed each other. I wouldn’t have hurt you this bad if you did.”

“Don’t do that,” I growled as I pounced on him, pinning him to the bed. “Don’t shut down and feel sorry for me. Fix this. Fight for me, for us, Noah.” I yanked out the drawer from the nightstand and grabbed a bottle of lube that was still good. I poured some on my cock and worked it in as I kept Noah’s hands held over his head with one of mine. Then I used the extra to push two fingers inside of my mate.

“Yes, thank you. So nice and cool,” he moaned.

“Isn’t this worth fighting for? Aren’t I worth fighting for, baby?”

“Yes. I’d do anything for you, Remus. All I’ve ever wanted was you and to be happy.”

“Are you saying I’ve not made you happy?” I growled as I stretched him out faster. “I’ve done everything I can, Noah. I’ve given you space, forced you to come back to the real world even when you fight me. I’ve sat on the sidelines and waited for you to want me. All the while denying others who practically beg me to be with them. When have you ever begged or had to ask twice for me to come running?”

“Never. You’re always there for me,” he admitted. “I’m begging you now though, Remus.” He got one hand free and pulled my head down to his. “Don’t leave. I’ll fix this. We’ll make it, I promise. We’ll be happy again and I’ll chase after you for sex three times a day once I get my head straight.”

“It’s not just the sex!” I yanked out my fingers and slammed my fat cock into him. I grabbed his wrists and put them back up above his head, both in my one hand. I moved my other one under his ass to lift his hips to the perfect angle. “It’s not being able to shower with you because you’re not in the mood. Or hold you at night because you’ve pulled away from me again. It’s the looks everyone gives us at meals because they see it happening but my own mate doesn’t. You’re always oblivious to me and what I need!”

“Not always, I swear it,” he whispered. “And I’ll prove that soon.”

I didn’t say anything as I took him faster, burying my face in his neck so he couldn’t see my expression. What was there to say? I could lie and tell him I believed him. Or I could start the fight right back up and tell him I wouldn’t listen to any more of his promises. Instead, I enjoyed his body, needing to feel that we were connected again… Even if it was just sex.